Tennessee Republicans have already jumped on the alternative currency bandwagon and the nation-wide GOP push to strip away workers’ rights.

But now, a group of Tennessee GOP legislators has introduced legislation trying to ban Islamic law in Tennessee. But by our reading of the bill, it not only appears to outlaw the entire practice of Islam, but also other religions, dentistry, nail salons, and a whole host of other institutions.

How is that even possible? Well, the problem lies in the bill’s overly-broad definitions. The legislation, as currently worded, first defines “Sharia” as including:

“…Any rule, precept, instruction, or edict arising directly from the extant rulings of any of the authoritative schools of Islamic jurisprudence of Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi’i, Hanbali, Ja’afariya, or Salafi…”

A quick check of Wikipedia reveals that these rules include such common-across-cultures religious rules as the prohibition on eating pork or consuming intoxicants, as well as every-day practices we take for granted like clipping finger- and toe-nails, brushing teeth, and washing hands after using the restroom.

…Which is important to note because the bill then defines a “Sharia Organization” as:

“…any two (2) or more persons conspiring to support, or acting in concert in support of, sharia…”

In other words, every nail salon, dentist’s office, and preschool in Tennessee could be declared a “Sharia Organization” under this bill because they advocate some of the Islamic rules mentioned above. This is in addition to the discriminatory nightmare every Mosque would face if this bill passes.

And anyone who does much of anything to support said organizations could spend 15 years in prison under the bill:

39-13-906. (a) (1)
(A) Any person who knowingly provides material support or resources to a designated sharia organization, or attempts or conspires to do so, shall commit an offense.
(B) A violation of subdivision (a)(1)(A) is a Class B felony, punishable by fine, imprisonment of not less than fifteen (15) years or both

The bill, whose sponsors believe will ultimately pass, is clearly unconstitutional - but Republicans have a plan to get around that. “Material support or resources” in the section above are defined to include money, legal advice, and a range of other services or assistance.

Which means it would be illegal for a lawyer to advise Tennessee’s extremist manicurists on how to challenge this odious legislation, and it would be illegal for a gas station to fill up their tanks so they can get to the courthouse. Constitutionality problem, solved!